Planning a celebration of life after the death of a loved one

How we die and how we care for dying people, and who our dead are to us: these are what make us human.  These are where our real culture is made, or lost.  Dying is where we can plant our feet in the world and live.  Dying is village making.

At the end of our lives, we want to know our life has had purpose and meaning.  Celebrations of life can do just that.  They can be a joyous recognition of a loved one’s life on earth and they can also demonstrate the meaning as well as the purpose of their lives.  It is as important a ritual as any other rite of passage we experience throughout our lives.  And it can provide the very elements for healing and provide hope for those who remain we leave behind.  It can help us reconcile to a new reality.

Imagine planning the very best gathering ever.  Take a moment to think of the person whose life is being celebrated.  Who was this person?  What mattered most to them?  What music defined them?  What things did they like to do?  What made them laugh?  Although the person cannot be physically there, a moment in time can be created that completely reflects who they were and what was important to them.  All aspects of the ceremony can be an accurate, authentic reflection.

I will be your guide as you bring a level of authenticity to the celebration of life that will accurately keep that person’s memory alive; that will truly reflect them and who they were in life.  I will encourage you to make it as personal as you would like it to be.  I will encourage you to allow your imagination to help you create an authentic farewell. I am available to offer choices, perspectives and to assist you in the creating a ceremony that has meaning and relevance. 

Preplanning your celebration of life

There is immense benefit to taking the time to plan your own celebration.  For starters, it allows you to be in charge of the content.  You can use your imagination as you plan a celebration of your life that truly reflects who you are and says what you want to say.  Include all the elements that are important to you and make it as personal as possible.  It then becomes authentic and reflects what you want to say to those you love.

Preplanning also allows you to provide peace of mind not only for yourself but for those you leave behind.

I will be your guide, available to offer suggestions and ideas that you can incorporate (or not). 

Companion to the Dying and their Families

Death and dying is an area of life that has fascinated me for a long time.  And yet, it is not one we spend any time learning more about ~ what happens to us as we die.  We find ourselves with few resources and most often very few people to talk with.  We may find ourselves alone as we enter into one of the most important stages of our lives.  There is so much going on in our lives and our minds.  Most of which we are fearful of sharing with those we love (we don’t want to burden them).  Often we are afraid of what is happening and what the end may look like.  We may be afraid our lives have had no meaning or relevance.  We may or may not be connected to a religion or tradition.  And we may not want to burden those we love with all our fears and questions.

Imagine being accompanied, companioned on this last leg of the earthly journey by someone with compassion, who will listen, with a variety of helpful modalities, e.g. visualization, meditation, journalling, storytelling, music, humour and others.

As an interfaith minister, I have a deep understanding and respect for the various faith traditions of the world without being attached to any one religion or tradition.  My training at the Upaya Institute in Santa Fe, NM with Roshi Joan Halifax’s Being With Dying (a contemplative end of life care program) has brought much new learning to share.

I provide an open, honest and reflective perspective and encourage you to seek your own answers.  I would be honoured to be your mentor, your “midwife” as you prepare to enter the “birth canal” of your next experience.  Sessions are available in person or by phone.

For more information about any of these services, please contact me.